Smoochie
by Isabella vi Britannia
Summary: Kurloz is moody as fuck so he gets everyone to give him a smooch to make his mood better via chucklevoodoo, and more. One shot based on a doodle by Tumblr artist caledscratch. Hinted KurKat.


**Homestuck: Smoochie**

**AN: **Another one shot based on a doodle by Tumblr artist caledscratch.

**AN2: Bold quotes** indicate Kurloz's chucklevoodoo talk.

**Pairing:** KurlozxEveryone, mainly hinting KurKat

**Summary:** Kurloz is moody as fuck so he gets everyone to give him a smooch to make his mood better via chucklevoodoo, and more.

**Smoochie**

Your name is KURLOZ MAKARA, and you are motherfucking MOODY AS FUCK.

You wonder how the fuck can you alleviate this bad mood in you without the expenses of your…comrades. Your thinkpan then remembers one time when you receive a nice smooch from your ex-matesprit back in those days. You felt so down then, you thought nothing would make you feel better. Then you felt a smooch on your cheek. You looked to your side and you saw your dear kitty baby Meulin beaming up at you. That smooch actually made you smile. Then you both proceed to talk about some trivial things, but you felt a lot better after that little kiss on the cheek.

You thought. Smooches are good. If one smooch can make you feel better, imagine what more smooches can make you feel.

Oh yes. You require smooches then.

Now where did your wicked kittybitch go to?

x0x0x

**"HEY MY SWEET KITTY BABY, I FEEL SO DOWN TODAY, HOW ABOUT A SMOOCH?"**

You loved that look in Meulin's eyes, the purple glow matching your own. She happily gave you a smooch on your cheek, giggling as she did. "You're so funny, hee." It made your sewed mouth smiled wider.

That felt good, but you sure could use more smooches to make you feel even better.

You heard the sound of wheels. You found your next 'target'.

x0x0x

You liked your moirail; Mituna was adorable to say the least, despite what had happened to him. Although, you knew you wouldn't get that smooch you wanted from him without having to resolve to your chucklevoodoo. And that was what you did.

But even when being under your powers, Mituna was a bit challenged somewhere, so instead of a smooch, the moirail proceeded to lick your cheek earning a speechless (pun unintended) look on your face.

But that did amused you, not to mention the (wet) licking tickled your cheek. A nice French kiss would be in order very soon for the troll.

Right now, you could use some royal treatment though…

x0x0x

You found Meenah by the shore. Best to be on your best motherfuckin behavior.

**"GREETINGS, MY EMPRESS. I HOPE I AM NOT INTRUDING YOU."**

She turned to your direction, now completely under your chucklevoodoo. She had a questioning look, to which you continued, **"IF I MAY BE SO BOLD, MAY I REQUEST A SIMPLE SMOOCH FROM YOUR IMPERIAL HIGHNESS? I HAVE BEEN IN SUCH A BAD MOOD AND I FEEL ONLY SUCH GESTURE FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU CAN MAKE ME FEEL ALRIGHT AGAIN."**

She blushed at your words, and actually grinned. By right, she would've already kicked your ass for asking that, but not while she's under your powers. "W)(ale, since you asked so nicely, s)(ore, w)(y not?" And she proceeded to give a little smooch on your cheek.

You were good enough to repress a mischievous giggle as she smooched you. You're having too much fun with this.

Who else is next, you think?

x0x0x

Note to yourself: NEVER ASK CRONUS TO GIVE YOU SMOOCHES.

Even as you had him under your grip, he had your face in his grasp, minutes and inches away from kissing your sewed lips. You felt your mood going down lower and lower the closer he was to your face.

But after much struggle, you finally managed to make him give you a smooch on the cheek, then proceed to beat the shit out of him. Think of it as double payback for all the bullying your dear moirail had to put up.

Speaking of your moirail, his matesprit should be here somewhere.

One little smooch wouldn't hurt, right?

x0x0x

An opportunity fell right in your hands. Literally speaking.

Latula had a misstep while grinding on a nearby stairs and she almost fell face first on the concrete if not for your spontaneous swift catch.

"Oh wow hey bro!" She was slightly breathless, probably didn't expect anyone to be around to save her. "Thanks for catching me, thought I was gonna lose it."

You nodded and smiled silently as you put her down. She grabbed her skateboard and about to leave before she seemed to forget something. "Oh yeah, I supposed I owe you for saving me." She chuckled. "How about a treat later?"

You blinked once before your eyes narrowed slightly, cunningly. They glow the familiar purple, and soon enough, without her noticing, her eyes mirrored yours in response. You grinned a little wider before pointing your cheek.

**"A GRATUITOUS SMOOCH WILL SUFFICE."**

She leaned over and gave you a smooch as you commanded—ahem, requested. "You're rad like that, y'know bro?" she had chuckled again.

You got the feeling your mood was getting better. But then again, you had way too much fun with this.

Let's check the list, shall we?

x0x0x

Aranea was almost too easy.

You used the same line you used on Meulin (minus the 'sweet kitty baby' bit), and wouldn't you know it, she was happy enough to smooch you to make you feel better, twice, on both cheeks.

You couldn't help but chuckle quietly.

She then proceeded to tell you where your next 'target' would be.

How convenient.

x0x0x

You were exactly the troll Porrim was looking for.

She had a hard day herself and could use a little unwinding. You were nice enough to calm her nerves with your chucklevoodoo, to which she was thankful for it (at least, when she's under your control).

Of course, there must be something she could do for you in return, right?

You asked for a simple smooch, to which she gladly obliged. Your mood is getting better and better.

Then a few self rant about the troll who made her day a bit less pleasant.

Time to shut that chatterbox up for a while.

x0x0x

He was right in front of you, dusting something from his red sweater and muttering about something.

You saw Kankri and gave a little wave, to which he noticed. "9h hey there. I'm glad y9u're here. Things have 6een so terri6le with me and P9rrim t9day."

He then proceeded to ramble for a good five minutes before you put your finger gently on his lips to quiet him for a while. "Shhh…" you gently shooshed, before you worked your voodoo magic on the Insufferable. He grew a bit quiet, exactly as planned.

**"I'M FEELING A LITTLE DOWN RIGHT NOW. YOU WOULDN'T MIND IF I ASKED FOR A SMOOCH FROM YOU, WOULD YOU?"**

There was a pause before he gently nodded, a little smile across his face. You leaned down slightly so as to let Kankri smooch you. You're convinced your mood is getting better by the second.

Then you remembered Kankri mentioned his little counterpart in his rambling. Well now, that does call for the final perfect smooch, right?

x0x0x

Karkat was pacing back and forth, clearly upset about something, or someone.

Gamzee had disappeared again and Karkat was getting restless. You saw him and couldn't help but smiled wider. Such a perfect timing.

He saw you, and you nodded his way. Karkat always felt nervous whenever you're around, always because you look so much like his moirail. He didn't notice you were getting closer and closer to him, until he turned around and almost jumped three-feet away from you in a girly screaming fit.

"Don't scare me like that, fuckass!" he was still nervous despite his little retort. Time to put your chucklevoodoo into action.

He gazed into your eyes, and soon he became calm, even slightly meek. His eyes were now a glowing purple like yours, beautifully half-lidded. Through your chucklevoodoo, you asked him to give you a smooch, which he did rather cutely. You feel your mood lifted completely with that sweet gesture.

You decided to have a little fun with him for a little bit.

**"KISS ME."**

Karkat obeyed and kissed you gently, almost lovingly on your sewed lips. His eyes never blinked for a second, remaining half-closed. He licked your sewed lips slightly, as if requesting permission to enter. You let him kiss your lips more fervently, opening your mouth enough for him to kiss you deeper. You savored the moment, having the Cancer under your command, so helpless in your power—

"What the motherfuck are you doing?"

You knew that voice anywhere. You saw from the corner of your eye the dreaded terror, the last thing you wanted to encounter right now.

The Bard of Rage himself.

Oh you're so motherfucking screwed right now you have no idea…

-THE END! XD-


End file.
